Brittle Past

Cage and chain and jellied tar
puts me off being awake
Perplexing is this new perspective
living with a chest that quakes 

Without hits, with blackened veins,
With strength from nightmares, I refrain
On plastic throne, I sat for hours
Burning flowers till brittle breaks

With phone in eye, wait for beeps
In moneyed tower, I starving weep
The spiders crawl in corners damp
They stop and laugh 
and burn, misquoted

Volcanic poison booms, erupts
It shouts ‘I’m poisoned, I’m corrupt’
With heart in cage and cage in glass
A future spent cursing the past

Is no future in front at all?
The past, nothing but all your fault?
The future, nothing but what you did
or didn’t do to make you ill?

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Forgotten Name

Must pretend the drab is gold
while he watched himself get old
He just sits there, like he knows
but he’s desperate, closed off

All his efforts, brutally weak
He sacrificed the hands of watches
and accepted what he seeks
is beyond bars, transparent, nothing

Caged spirit sits and rots
he is everything you’re not
All his efforts watch them dissolve
and be removed, one by one

All the worries nothing to this
All low hopes, mediocre, flaccid
There’s only one fear, loud and clear
“Where is the sun?”

Feeling weak? Not weak enough.
Feeling broke? Not broke enough
Feeling dead? You have no right
Aim low, no light, no sight.

Blind

You are being sold fear and confusion and you buy it
Everything except for spirit and heart but you tie it
Money, Fame and Dreams are an illusion
but by mammary of hate, you keep consuming

Your purpose, told to consume and you consume
Pop and pap are curses you consume
sacrifice your soul to crap trap art
to pave the way for absolute disruption

The old world reaches its end, externally
Internally you are still free, eternally
Avoidant are you of your ills and pain
Avoidant are you of the

Promise that you made

The team beneath the one who didn’t bow
can only lose if you only knew how
infected are all your plastic assumptions
laugh, they will until they see the pinnacle:

The doors M.A.L.K opens up
unsmiling feel their knees crack, sat
Regret, they say it’s not them when it was
They concede and begin to scream

Screaming they should not take blame for you
Crying as they say you were free to be you
But you chose to sit at their occulted teat
by mammary of hate , you took your seat

Not blind anymore but it’s too late
Cry and say it wasn’t my mistake
Cry and say depression, need my meds
Cry as you remove your plastic head

Cry as you wait for fire

Taking care

Cold like icicle, cyclical like snow in winter

Everyday mutates, I’m imprisoning my spirit

Shattered is all hope that I’ll see the light of day

Now that I am concrete, to be molded where I lay

I’ll be the best foundation, I’ll give and grow you strong

I’ll say yes to anything, I’ll always say I’m wrong

I’ll take the rage unfolded and with my spirit behind bars

I’ll pad your cell and patiently, I’ll wait for falling stars

Tense Fabric

The tension of the fabric
wrapped around my slowing pulse
I feel dull

Combustable frustration,
I am a witness,
I’m real dull

Turn the tap with focused effort
and now clean, I stand by the table
You deal with much

Memories that cost too much
Don’t know if I said enough
Don’t know if I said too much

It looks like I don’t care enough
I think about myself too much
I can’t remember anything

Decrepit I dissolve into
A million piece puzzle to
Be ready for everything

Further down is close enough
This up close is just too much
Can’t let the fabric get on you

I am Dead Orange

I thought I was an orange
Something to peel and share
The day that I ascended
I wasn’t really there

When forward became backwards
When upwards became down
An insect crawled into my skin
Consuming what it found

My skin was amber, gleaming
Besides my friends, I sat
Hiding what was deep inside
A seething, mass of black

My skin began to darken
My friends, taken away
I watched them rise above, beyond
But I was here to stay

The day that I ascended
The day that I was called
All my hopes and dreams were dashed,
I wasn’t peeled at all.

The Death Supreme

Paralysed but my iris turns
to the corners where darkness lurks,
Remorseless shadow that consumes,
I relocated, it resumed.
With both eyes open, realised
That every dream was revealed capsizing,
Counting down to queen nineteen:
The end of dreams, The death supreme.

‘Friends and family’, hey, whats that?
Whats my voice like from where i’m sat?
A blinding apple bitten screen says:
“Here lies all your fucking dreams”.
Zombie is what zombie does :
“Whats wrong with him?”
“He’s plastic cuz…
look how he drags icarus!
He is not one of us.”

Keep my eyes down as I walk,
Keep my mouth shut lest I talk,
One three stares and another points,
My face says “…bitch or not, keep walking.”
Frozen are my ligaments
Poison is the plastic face
that says “I’m here but far away,
I’ll be here every day.”

Analysing everything,
Capsizing heart that never sings,
Tightening, every day, the rope,
And in my dreams it’s smoking, choking.
Red, the head that falls through stars
Stars that die, I pay the cost,
Mundane, the psychodrama still,
The same until this packers killed.

In death supreme, I plastic walk,
And now and then, I plastic talk.
second thinks they know till Third
Says “no one heard a packers words”.
With spirit in a laptop bag,
right next to a plastic sad
A tiny cut ‘bout once a day
Beneath the eyes and drift away.

He dragged with each split minor step,
Organs removed like imotep,
Paralysed, he stood consumed
While Iron moths celebrated doom.
Remorseless shadow that consumed
returned, but this time, i’m in tune
And now I plastic crown do death
With blackened strength, wait and repent. 

My skins the wrong colour (but that’s the least of your problems)

Turmeric thunder torn asunder
Avalanching death, i’m under
Snow that burns and rain so dry
I crumbled smoke right in it’s eye.
Old man sad and new man lost
Woman dressed just like she cost
Mother wept “…are you okay?”
Then world got darker, everyday.

A sorry spirit says “no blame”
Spirit of death says “it’s a game”
Temporal lacklustre lucked out
With iron will temper without
And iron chain for forty years
Will be worth all that its worth
This sea of fire’s lapping waves
Will burn as strong as they behave.

Black brick in mortar crushed and drank
With venomous needs, a sick heart sank
And sickle cell looms by the wayside
Waiting with its coiled shank.
A horizontal, stare at strobe,
In hidden thoughts of black and gold,
A royal end to magma thought:
Three one backwards turned to nought.

Ringing in my head

Cater, work, cater, sleep
Cater, work, I’m six feet deep
I live a million tiny deaths
With every million tiny breaths
Being difficult, it says
“Everything thats wrong today
is my earth but the wrong way”
and so I’m buried beneath it’s grey

Its asking why the reals right
“Compared to plastic, nothings right.”
The anachronistic organism,
My mystic isolationism said
“Make a choice, choose to be blind
to every friend you’ve left behind,
It’s not okay, to feel love
While all your time is not enough.”

With each step, thought and breath glued
to each fleeting sideways look,
Reduced the thoughts to pavement slab,
While Iron triad lurches onwards.
Kept inside still and iris down
I breathed in and held it down,
It moved closer with every step
And every picture that I wrecked.

When step within boundaries none at all,
When crawl for rests undone by troika,
I ask for so much when I say
“It must be okay for a day.”
In minutes, seconds, fatal loss
Is what I’ve found is what it costs,
So I’m dripping till it pours
Till the doom can’t be ignored.

Until the smell of smoke erupts
And the bell of time stops
Until the chasm opens up
And molten core screams “I’ve had enough!”

There’s ringing in my head
There’s Ringing in my
There’s Ringing in
There’s Ringing

Sitting and Pretending

Driving with the headlights closed, the screaming drowned by lungs un-gasping grasp,
he grasped at seconds as they fell around like moths, un-lasting
Fingers pulled from sockets worn – eye sockets cut around the plastic smiles,
I stretch the skin around, the web I’ve weaved says “never leave”

Mirrors say “it’s all okay so look away, like yesterday”
Droop and dripping flesh, shut lips that hate the weight of stones I’m placing
Bricks are placed, with every thought that comes, they go beneath the eyes
A wooden box, a lock stays locked, a barrier becomes all being

Consume, because it’s easier than bleeding dreams that heap the pyre
Keep my spirit square and trapped, encased in gold and bright like fire
“What fell on the floor?” I asked, Unreachable minds don’t react
I tried to keep myself awake, I hide my face beneath their feet

Seconds that present themselves, in solitude, become consuming
Scissors cut the paper planes that take me from this endless looming gloom,
I drag my foot with steps towards, away, at the same time
I close my mind, the fires out, the colours grey and I’m not me

Words they leave the thoughts that grieve behind the eyes, my planets surface,
Outside my living tomb, they sang laments, encasing me, polluted
Fury has no time for loss, the lost must cry at depth inside
and crystalline, my diamond drowned in hues of red that keep the beat